Cruise Ship Dress Codes: Much Ado about Nothing?

BEING AN avid and frequent cruiser, I read blogs, follow social media groups, and watch YouTube videos about cruising topics. A lot. One of the topics that consistently and repeatedly  comes up for discussion is cruise ship dress codes.

 "When in Rome . . . "

HONESTLY, I cannot think of a more "nothing" issue. Yet we waste gigabytes of digital "ink" and an equal amount of angst and energy over this. You might (legitimately) wonder: if it is such a nothing topic, why am I writing about it? Not sure I have a good answer. It came to mind and I thought I would "weigh in." That's what bloggers do? Call me hypocritical (though I think I am just being "critical).😅

WHATEVER THE justification, before delving too deeply into this, I want to put it in the perspective I try to keep whenever I travel. Growing up, the ancient saying credited to St. Ambrose: "When in Rome . . . " (you know the rest) was oft heard in my home. The gist of this comment was that when you are a guest of someone else, you honor their rules and customs. This is true even when you are a paying guest, in my view. The difference is that your visit is contractual, and there are obligations both parties must honor. One of your rights is to decline the service. If you choose to partake, however, you follow the rules. It really doesn't matter to the rest of us that you may disagree with them; even feel they are stupid, and in fairness, they generally have reasons behind them.

I cannot think of a more "nothing" issue

WHY THEN, is it such a controversial and apparently for some folks - vital -  issue? I don't really know. Some of it is no doubt driven by our modern "entitlement culture." What I do know is that if you join any one of the cruise groups on Facebook, you will daily see someone new coming on and posting a question about the dress code; many of them openly questioning it. What I find incredible is not that they are asking questions. It is the questions they are asking. In many cases it seems like a passive-aggressive venting, rather than an honest question seeking an answer. What astonishes me is that most of these people have already booked a cruise, or have certainly (hopefully) done a fair amount of research. It seems like the most common controversy arises over jeans, hats and flipflops. Really? Those are the hills you want to die on? I cringe when I read stuff like: "Can my husband wear jeans in the MDR? He never wears anything else." Hmmn. A turn on a common saying comes to mind: "Get a pair" 😁 (of khakis or something). Or, "I see the rule about no flipflops for men in the MDR, but my husbands are "designer" flipflops, so surely they are allowed?"" Seriously, read the cruise line's rules. If the rules say no jeans in the MDR, you either wear something else, or don't go there (and this from a guy who eschews shoes, and socks in every possible instance, and lives in flipflops at home). Pretty simple. Another one that really tickled me recently: "We are from Wyoming. My husband always wears a cowboy hat when he goes out. Will he be allowed to wear his cowboy hat in the MDR?" Seriously? Do the rules say no hats? Is a cowboy hat a hat? But then, they are from Wyoming. 😃 Can't you enjoy a meal without a hat and/jeans? If so, maybe a cruise just isn't for you.

Why . .  is it such a controversial and apparently for some folk, vital issue?

EVERY CRUISE line has a published dress code. It is easy to find. Why not read the rules published by the cruise line? I realize they are sometimes ambigous. That's when you ask questions of experienced cruisers on online. Years ago, I was an adjunct college professor. I used to tell my students there were no stupid questions. That was before I started spending time on social media. 

What I find incredible is not that they are asking questions. It is the questions they are asking

I APPRECIATE that most of the mainstream cruise lines have evolved as our social cultures have. I spent 40 years in the professional world and 30 of them meant I wore a suit or at least a coat and tie every day. The last 10 saw a move toward what has been dubbed "business casual." I was able to skip the tie and often were a polo, dressy crew, or button-down collared shirt and a sport coat. I personally have never considered "jeans" of any kind to be "business casual" or in any way "dressy," but that is my own view. Even today, I have to wonder what the big deal is about two items of clothing that seem to touch off hot buttons: jeans and hats. I used to enjoy the formal nights and wore a tux for them. I never enjoyed schlepping all that formal stuff around though. Today, I don't even pack a jacket.

It really doesn't matter to the rest of us that you may disagree with them; even feel they are stupid

WHAT I do still do is uncomplainingly follow the dress code the cruise line has set out. I try to use common sense. I take one or two dressier shirts and at least one pair of nicer slacks (I don't travel with jeans - I don't find them comfortable, they are heavy to pack, and hard, in my view, to keep unwrinkled). It seems like common sense and good manners.

If you can't enjoy a meal without your hat and/or jeans then maybe a cruise isn't for you

THE MAIN thing here, is that we go on cruises to relax, have fun, and in many cases become enriched over world culture and history. So lets focus on that. Relax, enjoy the cruise, and don't get all knotted up about a dress code. Seems like you can spend an hour or so each day without having dinner without your favorite hat, jeans or flipflops. If not, they do have room service.

On a gentler note: this is the penultimate (god, I love using that word 😂) post for 2024, and more importantly, just days before Christmas. I hope for everyone who may be reading this that you have a joyful season and a very   Merry Christmas!